I was living the dream.
Clove cigarette in one hand, can of Irish Moss in the other and a girl bent over in front of me.
The brown beauty decked out in the neon feathered headdress was doing her thing with the others in her group but with an intense kind of eye contact and the prior approval of my partner, she grabbed the ground and backed it up like she was in a Cash Money video circa 1998. Baby was working her ass with a fury, doing her bedazzled thong more justice than I ever could. bouncing to the tune of Beenie Man’s King of Dancehall. I assumed I had died and gone to heaven. With earsplitting music coming from an 18-wheeler, dancing in the middle of the street and women showcasing what their mothers had given them freely and confidently, I couldn’t think of a better way to spend the afternoon. Steel bands, horns, calypso, weed perfuming the air, jerk chicken, roti, breadfruit, coconut water (from the actual coconut) flags in the air, masks and sunshine—it was all here at the 48th Annual W. Indian Day Parade.
Brooklyn and its peoples were out in droves, the bold, the odd and the interesting congregated.
I’d been to Eastern Parkway every year since I could remember and ever since I had discovered a small fraction of my sexuality, I had gone out of my way to make the absolute most of my time. Recently, I had stumbled upon the fact that I had an actual attraction to women and their forms and was having a lot more adult-themed fun because of it. The pretty in pink taunting me with her rotations was just a part of that. The Caribbean culture wasn’t known for being same-sex friendly but I’d seen more than a few women and men throwing caution to the wind. Folks were showing themselves and this lovely had no issue giving me love. With a sparkling smile, she stood up and pecked me on the cheek. I grabbed her hand before she could run off.
"What’s your name?"
She was baby mother material, not because she lacked the ability to be anything more but because looks like hers needed to be passed on genetically. She got yelled at, flashed me a look of apology and caught up to her group. I sighed contently.
"Yo," I said grinning, "that was nice."
"Even better for those in the audience."
I looked up at him, pretending to be ashamed of myself. “Did I go overboard just now?”
He gave me his sleepy, bedroom eyes as he ran his fingers up my bare back. “Yeah but I wouldn’t have it any other way.”
Mosai tugged at my bucket hat, pulled me closer and kissed me with a heat that rivaled the temperature. He wasn’t one of those guys that was all over you to prove a point. He was on you because he was just that into you. Or me. We were into some passionate, romance novel stuff and for once, I wasn’t even being cynical about it. I enjoyed it. I was enjoying him. It was more than that of course but I’d get into it later. We were hot and heavy and everybody was getting a show. When we were done locking lips, I got pulled away, an arm going around my shoulders.
"Aye man, we just met and I want to like you and everything but you gotta keep them hands to yourself. I saw her first. Tell accent boy I’m your man. Or your next one."
"I wish I could but I’m locked up," I replied slipping his arm off. "Besides, we would never work out. I’m me and we’ll, you’re you. Know what I’m saying Rodney?"
I went back to Mosai’s arms, offering him a shrug and a laugh. I couldn’t believe it but I almost missed having the guy around. He was the comic relief, enduring and annoying most of the time but Rodney was way more than I had ever given him credit for. Yesterday my ex-best friend’s ex-best friend had hit me on Twitter privately, wanting to talk. I assumed the worst. I thought he wanted to plead the case of his boy but when I forwarded him my new number, it wasn’t that.
And he apologized.
On behalf of Max.
He told me what went down at AfroPunk, how with Yoshi’s intimidation he discovered what his boy had been up to while he was away in North Carolina for a month. I don’t think I had ever heard him sound so serious as he condemned abuse against women. He said that he couldn’t call himself a man if he stayed cool with someone who’d done that. I appreciated his words and him backing me. From what I had heard, my whole family was supporting me. Leah, Yoshi, Rodney—all of them had come to my defense. All of them were now firmly against the one person who’d been with me from the start.
It was weird.
Picking up the phone and remembering that I wasn’t supposed to be talking to Max, looking forward to seeing him, to having lunch with him or just telling him something interesting about my day was weird. It was like he had never been around at all even though I knew he had. I guess it was natural for me to feel like I was missing something but I still felt a way about it. How could I yearn for someone who made it clear, more times than I could count, that their will was more important than mine? The nostalgia passed usually but when it hit, it hit.
I wasn’t for a trip down memory lane now.
I wanted to be in the moment. I wanted to be present. With my people. With Mosai. He made it all better. They all made everything fine. The group now consisted of Mosai and I, Rodney, Yoshi, Liam and Leah. I had corralled all of them for this outing and a string of parties leading up to the parade. Everybody was doing it up, preparing to return to school and everyday schedules. Come this time next week, I wouldn’t be participating in either. I was officially going to be a college dropout because I had no plans to return to LIU. I really hadn’t been that into it in the first place. I didn’t need a piece paper to get where I wanted to be so there was no point in me shelling out thousands of dollars a semester in the name of gaining credits. I was firm on that. It wasn’t like I was a total failure. I was going into business with my girl. I had put down a significant amount of cash and signed on the dotted line to be a partner so actually this was a partial vacation after all. There were no set hours but I did have a job. All the more reason to let my hair down and do whatever.
When I wasn’t shooting video of the events, I was busy snapping pictures. For one I had gathered us girls into a group shot, our faces representing different nation with paint. I wore Jamaica on my cheeks, Leah wore Haiti and since Yoshi had a few roots in Trinidad she had red, black and white. Mosai wore St. Lucia on his shirt but since Rodney and Liam couldn’t trace anything back to the Indies but we hooked them up with the flag of their origin. Everybody looked on point. We gathered, took way too many selfies and showed our asses.
That applied to Yoshi more than anybody else.
Her frayed Levi’s weren’t holding much in which Rodney was more than happy about. He’d been trying to put the moves on her all day. Yoshi, being who she was, could be oblivious to that but persistence was paying off. It was getting to be evening and Rodney had left me alone to press up against her. It had to be going good because she was cracking up and in all my time of knowing her I’d never seen her laugh that hard.
"Do you see that?" Leah asked nodding at them.
"Yeah," I replied. "See you too."
Liam and Leah had been within an inch of each other this whole time. The private smiles, the lingering looks, the way he was wrapped around her now said that their status had changed.
"What’s up? You two verified?" I asked.
Liam kissed her head, allowing Leah to handle this one. She slipped her hands into his. “You could say that. That thing, I worked it out.” Her look faltered for a minute. Her three-way situation was rectified apparently but not without inflicting some pain. I knew making that decision had been like splitting herself in two. Tremain was in her deep. Extracting him and moving on to something totally new had to be hard. We’d talk about it but I was relieved for her. Now she could be settled. She had the love she deserved.
We had that in common.
Tanned and tired, we decided to dismantle. That was until we met up in some hours again. Yoshi had set up a dinner to celebrate our partnership. In between then and now, all of us were supposed to get cleaned up and show ourselves at an address in Park Slope. I figured that the two couples here would go off by themselves but I wasn’t expecting Yoshi to let Rodney follow her to her car. That was no accident.
"Yosh," I yelled after her.
"Don’t kill him okay?"
She smirked and pulled Rodney by the waist of his pants. “No promises but I’ll try not to hurt him too bad.”
"By all means," Rodney replied, "hurt me. Injure my ass."
I laughed as she tugged him along. He wouldn’t be saying that when she was done with him. Leah and Liam headed back to the brownstone and I went to Mosai’s. It was like my second home by now, the deli at the end of the block saw me so much they knew me by name. Even the meter maid had come to know my ride. It didn’t stop her from writing me a ticket but it was that camaraderie that made a neighborhood, a community. I knew who frequented the block. The Johnson girls lived across the street and down the way, they played with Davina when she came around. Mrs. Dorris was a widow who scowled at everyone who passed her stoop and Lawrence was the Broadway dancer who was elated to be gay. I knew of mostly everybody but if I didn’t, I was sure that I had never spotted the person standing menacingly about fifteen feet away. I only say menacingly because it had to be 90 degrees out and this person had his hood up.
It wasn’t computing.
They were to the side but I got the distinct feeling that they had or were currently watching me. I was on the verge of saying something but Mosai came up to me.
“What’s wrong Ayanna?”
I watched the person walk off immediately, like just hearing his voice had made them want to flee. And then I knew. I wasn’t sure what went through me. It probably should’ve been fear or concern, and I was feeling some variation of both, but what I was really feeling was sadness. That we were at this juncture, not romantic, not friends, not even acquaintances. We were so disconnected that he could only come close to me by stalking. I know what you’re thinking. Tell someone. Tell the big strong, boxes-in-his-spare-time man beside me that another man, from my very recent past, was close enough to do me damage. I should’ve but you know me. Ayanna Kelly never took the path of least resistance. Nothing had changed about that.
“Not one thing is wrong,” I told Mosai, shoving my better judgement away. He wouldn’t come back today but he would come back. I didn’t want to focus on that right now. “I’m peaches.”
“Peaches?” Mosai asked.
“Sweet,” I explained. “Come on Blondie, you gotta keep up with my lingo.”
We went up the steps to the door. “I’m trying but you have a unique grasp on vocabulary.”
“Hey, I’m an innovator.”
“I’d say. In a multitude of ways.”
We shared a familiar look, one laced with a sexual innuendo. Specifically, he was talking about our after hours activities last night. When we got in from that party on Nostrand Avenue, both of us were feeling a certain way and by that I meant horny. What did you expect when we were pressed up against each other for hours on end? Under dark blue lights, we did a slow groove to Shabba Rank’s Mr. Loverman. There was grinding, so much pelvis to pelvis, ass to erection action along with him whispering some choice words in my ear. That London accent got me but his Creole, when he went from sounding properly British to confidently W. Indian, was a panty dropper. They would’ve been on the floor if I’d been wearing any. Between the Patra telling me to Dip & Fall Back and Kat DeLuna instructing me to Whine Up, we’d had some major sexual tension going on. Sitting straddled on his bike after had only helped with the torment. Needless to say, I was barely holding on when we got back to the Hunter home. I was ready and willing but I got nowhere.
Mosai was still cock-blocking.
I had no shame at that point.
I got into his favorite chair and got to work. My back was to him, my knees bent, my head hanging forward over the back while I touched myself. I wanted to be more entertaining, do this with some finess but I went right in. Two fingers in and out as I thumbed my clit. I was impatient, almost sending me and the chair over. And Mosai watched the whole thing. When I came that first time, pent-up energy drained out of me. I sank down, turning over to sit clumsily the right way. That’s when I got a show of my own. Mosai sat on the edge of his bed, one hand wrapped around his length. In the dark, his eyes stayed on mine while he stroked himself slowly. I watched him, got inspired and put one leg over each arm.
“You joining me?” he asked lowly.
“In every way. Teamwork makes the dream work babe, you know that and if you don’t, you’ll learn that soon enough.”
We breathed new life into the art of masturbation and the memory was just as vivid in his mind as it was in mine. I had half a mind to take him right now but I was trying to respect his wishes as frustrating as they were. Once inside, I kissed him, my come hither vibes changing into something more innocent. I wanted him to put a hurting on me but that wasn’t half of how I felt. Being with him, holding his hand, waking up beside him, it was all I needed to block some of my more unfortunate experiences. I mean Max was just outside, clocking my moves and Mosai had enough juice to make me forget that.
“You know we’re not expected until 8-ish. That gives us more than enough time to repeat our activities from last night. I gave him a persuasive look, my hands yanking his t-shirt up and off. I kissed his chest and stared at him longingly. Mosai held my head, grazing my cheek with his thumb.
“I’d like nothing more than to revisit that but Alto’s been after me all day. He wanted me to call him. Right now. Exclamation point.”
“I get it. Handle your bi. I’ll be upstairs.”
“While you’re up there, check out your side of the closet.”
Yes, I had legitimate space in his massive walk-in because with me going back and forth between our two places, I had just as many items in my room as I did his. I had a workable wardrobe but I would’ve remembered an Alexander McQueen garment bag in there. I unzipped the bag and cursed. The dress was black and the splits on both legs were hinting at danger that high on the thigh. I kicked off my Chucks and tried it on. With my lack of height it should’ve dragged on the floor but no, it was just right and the fit, it was perfect. I stood in the mirror and only word came to mind: sex. I looked like sex. The bodice was giving me lift and I actually had a fair amount of cleavage. The almost sheer fabric at the bottom made my struggling ass look promising and the back…I was sporting nothing but skin. All I really needed were the right shoes. That was covered already. A black box sat on the shelf above and inside were the bossiest fucking pair of sandals. I has ever laid eyes on. Black. Sude. With a gold snake serving as the ankle strap. They were Guiseppe’s and those joints didn’t come cheap. I didn’t want to be that girl who fell for a pair of shoes but goddamn, I was in freaking love.
I went to the wall unit intercom and beeped the office.
“Blondie, what was your goal here? It has to be to kill me because I’m dead right now. You fucking murdered me,” I said.
He chuckled. “If you feel like that now, you might now want to see what’s on the vanity.”
I did and almost went into cardiac arrest. “I can’t with you. There’s no way you could get me this right.”
The herringbone choker sat in a velvet-lined box and was heavy enough to be something leftover from Slick Rick’s collection. They didn’t make gold like this anymore. The best part was that it was used. He left the tiny paper tag around it to show me that the gift was previously owned. That might be strange but I didn’t feel right unless I had on something vintage. I liked the idea of recycling and making purpose of someone else’s throwaways and he got that about me. Now everything was just right.
“So I see you’ve been paying attention,” I said.
“You’ve been my focus for a while now.”
I smiled. “Thank you. Don’t go thinking you can buy me though.”
“I would never think that. Those are items are nothing compared to what you deserve.” I doubted that but I was learning not to down myself anymore. He never took it well when I did.
“Should I come down there to show my gratitude?” I asked.
“Not now. The manager is in talks. I couldn’t focus with you in front of me. You’re my biggest distraction.”
“I could see that.”
I left him to his conferencing and went about the beautification process. I stripped and headed for the expansive shower, piling on shampoo and conditioner on my head. Once clean, I got out and put Mosai’s robe on, wrapping my hair up before buttering myself with shae and scrubbing my face with black soap. I usually kept my grooming habits to a minimum but for the next hour, I did more than my fair share of plucking, shaving and waxing. Then, came the hair. I tackled it with determination and a blow dryer. The end result was volume. I could give Diana Ross a run for her money with how big it was. Double eyeliner, triple mascara and a wine-colored lip finished the face.
Next came the dress.
The flesh factor was off the meter but it didn’t bother me at all. I considered this progress since just weeks ago, I was shrouding myself with as much fabric as I could. I didn’t feel good about myself. Actually, I had never felt worse about myself but I guess as the bruises faded, my sense of self decided to come back. This was one of those rare times when I was fully cognizant of how great I looked. I was basking in all my glory and then suddenly I was overcome. I scurried to my designated night stand and I took it out, regarding it with reverence. We had been strangers for a while now, fucking months, but now I was coming back to the fold.
Some time later, Mosai found me sprawled across the bed, my thousand dollar heels crossed in the air. I was talking to myself, oblivious to him watching me.
“You’re writing again,” he said.
I sat up. “That surprises you?”
“No,” he said, “I just haven’t seen you do it in so long.”
“The pen was my first escape. I might put it down but I’ll never give it up.”
The constant hum of my problems was always in the background. Dealing with him just drowned it out a lot of the time. While Mosai was a true life blessing, I would never give up expressing myself even if the subject matter was painful. Mosai sat down beside me and motioned.
I handed the notebook to him with no hesitation. He read it over and looked up at me, worry in his eyes. “Deep.” It would be. I was dealing with some extraordinary, crazy extenuating shit in my life. My words reflected that. “You know you can talk to me about him. You haven’t said one word since everything happened. I’ll listen to anything you have to say. He’s a bastard that shouldn’t have life after what he did to you and just mentioning him pisses me off but I’m here for you.”
The sincerity was there. He actually was willing to sit and listen to me talk about Max but I couldn’t allow that for very specific reasons. “I know that,” I said, “I just don’t want to bring him into what we have. You two are in very separate places in my mind. He meant, means, so much to me and my brain is going to revert back to him for some time to come but I’m here. With you. Because you are who I want to be with. You’re all things right. I think I was scared of that but I’m not anymore. I’m thankful for you offering but I’d rather not have him in our mix. I don’t want you connected to that. No associations and/or correlations. You have a clear lane of your own. You always will.”
He took my hand and kissed it, not commenting. I tried changing the subject by asking what his high-powered, mobster-esque manager had to say.
“About that, there’s been a scheduling issue. H & M wants me to shoot early.”
“Two days from now early, something about the campaign being pushed up. Alto made them come up with a significant bonus for the time difference but they still want me there for a week. I want you to come with me to Sweden. I’ll be on set but we’ll have a good time.”
That sounded like a deal except I had some pressing responsibilities as well. “I want to, believe me, but I probably shouldn’t. Yoshi’s bringing me up to speed on the business and I have to take the crash course. FEMME is serious to me and I want to do right by it.”
He sighed. “Then I guess I’ll just have separation anxiety.”
“You going to sulk on me?”
“No, it’s not very becoming. I respect your ethic. I just don’t know what I’m supposed to do without you.”
I leaned closer, resting my head against his. “It’s not like I won’t be around when you get back. I’m not going anywhere. What’s some days against the grand scheme of things?”
I put my arms through his, hugging him. He pulled me in tight, inhaling my scent. “You always smell so good to me,” he whispered. “Like home somehow. As long as you stay like this, I’ll get through it. Maybe.”
I laughed and fingered one of his curls. At my request, he had grown his hair out. “Get dressed. We’re going to be late to this thing and I know Yoshi went through a lot.”
He promised to be only a few minutes and in that time, I convinced myself that I wouldn’t miss him. That much. We had video chat, we had text messages and calls and tools to keep this from feeling like the end of the world. It wasn’t but it was sort of feeling like it. My face was drawn but I forced myself to brighten when he emerged in a patterned collared shirt, tailored pants and oxfords.
“You look very dapper Sir.”
“And you look like a felony waiting to happen,” he replied. “I knew you’d be stunning but I had no clue you’d be this astounding.”
“Hey, I have to do you justice.”
“You do that without trying,” he said kissing my neck.
We were touchy feely again and I could almost forget that he was leaving me in 48 hours. The feeling of loss didn’t come until later, until I was toasted with champagne and congratulated. Yoshi had outdone herself, securing the back patio of Faros. The Greek restaurant was close to Prospect Park, situated in a two-story brownstone. Under the candlelight, surrounded by greenery and the lowering sun, I sat amongst my people, conversation and laughter flowing. Leah was cozied up with Liam and Yoshi wasn’t making any attempts to remove Rodney’s arm from the back of her chair. Mosai was beside me, his hand resting on my thigh. This was it, a transition. It was one of those rare moments when you realized that your life and world were changing and becoming something else. I was moving on to another chapter of my life and with that came a certain awareness.
I whispered into Mosai’s ear and stood, taking him with me. “I want to say thank you to all of you for helping me commemorate this occasion. Yoshi, one of my sisters from another mister, has this crazy idea that I’ll do things with FEMME and I’m going to do my best to call her bluff. I love all of you like cooked food and your company is all that but I have to cut out. I need some time with this very beautiful man. In other words, we out bitches.”
We got booed before the good natured comments came but everyone said their farewells, hugs, daps and pecks being exchanged. I was trying to haul ass because I had something on the edge of my tongue and it needed to be said before I lost the nerve. Mosai had me close as we walked, his cologne bathing me. A short walk up a tree-lined block and we were at Grand Army Plaza, the infamous Soldiers’ and Sailors’ Arch overhead. Mosai marveled at it said it looked like Arc de Triomphe de l’Étoile in Paris. The light against the Brooklyn backdrop, the fountain, it was all clicking.
I was going to do this.
I started to get Mosai’s attention, intending to open myself and lay it all out for him but it was another Hunter twin that stole my focs.
The woman I was pretty sure was Mosai’s sister stood some feet away, a white knit dress on. Her features, her complexion, she was far more beautiful than she realized. She was standing diagonal but when she looked over it was definitely her. The only thing wrong or right about this picture was that her hand was being held by someone else’s. A lady someone else. Her company had the kind of skin that made me stare, blue-black, her waist-length braids accenting the prettiest face. They contrasted but together they were art-worthy. They were too close which obviously meant something was going on. Mahiri looked like she wanted to avoid a meet and greet but she’d been spotted. She couldn’t ignore us. Slowly, she walked over.
“Mosai,” she said. “Ayanna, look at you.”
“I should be saying that. Who’s this?”
“Drew. She’s a friend of mine.” Mahiri hesitated then added, “We’re seeing each other.”
It was like she held her breath waiting for our reaction but Mosai and I only nodded. There was nothing abnormal about dating a girl. Maybe if she got this response all the time, she wouldn’t think it was a big deal either. Her girl shook our hands, fascinated more with Mosai. They sparked up conversation about an installation artist they were both familiar with from London. That left Mahiri and I to stand there pain-filled. There was some awkwardness. She’d had the hots for me then gave me ice after that. There was also that one person we had in common.
“So,” I said trying to desperately fill in the empty space, “what’s up with you? How are things?”
She started to tuck her hair behind her ear but stopped. It showed restraint. The girl was forever falling back into her nervous habits. “I’m okay,” she replied. “The restaurant is doing great. It was hard at first not having Najm around but its worked out.”
She must have realized that she’d said something noteworthy when my eyes narrowed. “Why wouldn’t he be around?” I asked.
“He didn’t tell you, did he?” No, which was why I had interrupted her right at the mention. “You and him should talk. Soon.” She ducked her head, wanting to avoid any further explaining. “Drew, we should get going. Bye guys.”
Mahiri and her girl walked away and I was left wondering what was going on with Najm. I hadn’t had the heart to make contact but just maybe that was a good thing. Cutting the strings was something that had to happen at some point but still I thought about him. I just couldn’t give into that now. I had reached a certain immunity and I couldn’t go against that. Not so soon. I faced Mosai, wrapping my arms around his neck.
“What do you think that was about?” he asked.
“I don’t know,” I said. “Right now, I can’t care. I need to tell you something and I need eyes to do it.”
He looked at me, his clear grey eyes brilliant. I missed a beat. My heart literally skipped. Suddenly, I wasn’t afraid anymore. No matter what happened after this, I was going to box this moment and store it because I had never felt anything like this. I touched his lips, smiling softly without realizing. “Mosai Bartholomew Hunter, I fucking love you.”
There was none of the strife or panic or turmoil I had gone through when I said those words before. This was natural. It felt like I’d been saying this to him for a lifetime already. Like all of this had happened already.
Mosai broke out into a shy smile. He brushed my hair back, staring at me like I was the only thing in existence. “Why Ayanna?”
“No matter what you say or what you do, when I’m alone, I’d rather be with you. Fuck these other niggas, I’ll be right by your side ‘til 3005…”
I nodded my head in the direction of the radio someone was playing across from us. Mosai chuckled. “I don’t mean to jack Gambino but the lyrics work. They’re how I feel. You do it for me body, mind and spirit. You give me the benefit of the doubt even though you shouldn’t. You have protected me, hurt for me and I recognize that I’m very lucky to have you in my life. You make me feel normal, or my approximation of it and I couldn’t go another day without acknowledging that. I am in love with you.”
He began to speak but I put my hand over his mouth because there was more. With me there was always more.
“What I’m going to say next might ruin all of this but I have to be upfront with you so you know who and what you’re dealing with.” If I were a little smarter, I wouldn’t think of potentially ruining what was already perfect but I couldn’t keep anymore secrets. There couldn’t be any misrepresentations or twisting of the facts or confusion and for that to happen, I had to be all the way honest.
“I’m in love with another person too,” I said quickly, “not who you think either. That scenario I told you about, from my childhood, it’s still prevalent in my life. I have these conflicted, profound, and insane emotions when it comes to this person and they’re not just going to vanish. I’m trying to put them behind me but it’s going to take some time. I haven’t seen this person, we don’t even talk now but we will eventually and I need you to be okay with that.
Before you ask why you should, I’m telling you now that no sex, no anything will ever be had with this person from this point on. I wouldn’t disrespect you like that again. I’m going to be cognizant, on my best because the way I see it, I’d be a Class-A idiot to jeopardize us another time. I’m not okay with being without you. I won’t hold anything against you if you can’t agree to this whole thing. Believe me, I would get it.”
I’d said a mouth full but he only said one thing. “If that is you word then I trust you.”
It couldn’t be this easy. “Do you really mean that?”
“Yes, I do.”
I smiled so hard my face hurt. “Then I have another situation for you.” I went into the top of my dress and took out a folded piece of paper. I placed it in his hand. Once he opened it, he laughed. I’d resorted to elementary school antics on this one.
“Don’t keep me in suspense Blondie. It took a lot of courage for me to write that.”
“Yes,” he said. “Yes, I will be your boyfriend.”
Out of three hand-drawn boxes, I was hoping he’d go for that one. I was gone, so ecstatic that I wasn’t sure what to do with myself. “Damn, this feels like Christmas.”
“For you too?”
We did a movie kiss. It felt that epic.
This was how it was supposed to feel I realized. Loving somebody, having them return that love should be like fireworks. It should be like winning Mega Millions and it was all of that. I loved him. It took a minute, we had some mishaps but it was all worth it. The pain was worth it. Mosai was mine and I wanted to be his.
In all ways.
“Can we have sex now?” I asked.
“Is that what this was about? You just want to get me into bed?”
“No, it’s just a perk of being in a relationship. We get to fuck each other mercilessly.”
Mosai squeezed my waist, his hands embracing my ass. He did it with respect, if you could imagine that, but his grip said he wouldn’t hesitate to throw me down and do damage. I liked that. “Is that what you wish?” he murmured in my ear, “because you’re my woman now, it’s my duty to give you whatever you want. However you want it.”
I swallowed as I met his eyes. If he meant to make me instantly wet, he’d done that with two sentences. I had some ideas about what I wanted to go down and they involved a hotel and exactly twenty-one orgasms.
“Why that number?” Mosai asked.
“I read it. This book Pleasure. It’s doable. All we have to do is try. Two days is enough, right?”
“It’s going to have to me. Let me make a call.”
I wouldn’t let him step away as he took out his phone. Less than four minutes later he had a five-star, two bedroom penthouse. The Peninsula Suite at the Peninsula Hotel was luxury but I could care less about how exclusive the Fifth Avenue address was. I only cared about the king-sized bed.
“That solves one issue but not another. C’mon. We need to make a bodega run.”
I had spotted one a block and some change away. It was kind of difficult to walk straight when I was throbbing but we made it there. A bell chimed on the door when we entered, a scowling Latino behind the raised counter watching us as we went down a narrow aisle. I wanted something to drink but Mosai just wanted me. He grabbed me, kissing me in between rows of Windex and cans of soup. I wasn’t going to turn him away. It’d be an artic day in hell before I did that. I reared back, my hand become friendly with his crotch.
“You two, no sex in store. Take outside!”
The hawk-eyed clerk with the weight problem had caught us about to become explicit and apparently didn’t appreciate the entertainment. Grinning, I took a bottle out of the back refridgerator and went up to him. Mosai stood behind me nuzzling my neck and placing his hands all over. It reminded me of why we were really here.
“Rubbers,” I told the guy. “Magnums. I need every box you have.”
“You sure you want those?” Emilio asked. He was sarcastic but with cheese dust and crumbs on his shirt, he probably should’ve of been more low-key.
“As sure as I can be,” I replied. “My man is working with something impressive. Grande. Muy, muy grande.”
He threw the black boxes on the counter and rang me up. “No more than me mama.”
I put a 100-dollar bill on the counter. “That’s debatable. We’re in kind of a hurry to bang each others brains out so we’ll have to skip the sword contest. That’s better for you though. Spare you some embarrassment.” I took my bag and winked. “Keep the change Papo, you’re obviously hard up.”
Moasi half-lunged at him and punk went scrambling. We exited the store laughing at his expense.
“Yes, I love it when you physically threaten people in my honor. It turns me on,” I said.
“Good to know.”
We hailed a cab and made out in the back of it like two horny teenagers. I only focused long enough to retrieve a condom. I unzipped his pants, not minding that the strap of my dress and slipped down and nearly exposed a breast. There was nothing wrong with the driver watching either. I suited Mosai up and corrected his clothing.
“Are you going to tell me what that was for?”
You’ll see.” Once I saw Central Park coming up, I asked the driver to pull over. We got out and I led Mosai to a less populated area of the park. I was in search of the right spot and when I found it, the cutest old couple were seated on a bench there. The Cosbys. They looked like Heathcliff and Clair Huxtable. Somehow that was strangely alluring. He was a distinguished handsome and she was a classic betty.
I whispered in Mosai’s ear. “No. Not them,” he said guiltily. “They look like they could be our grandparents.”
He shook his head, not believing what we were about to do. “We’re going to hell,” he said
I smiled innocently and kissed his cheek. “At least we’ll go together lover” ♥